Empty Headed

Too much need

Too much value in my need

Anxiety

A head full of conversation

Meditation

An anesthetic for the mind

Made it go away

Somehow

I am left with a peaceful

Empty head.

Moving

A girlfriend at the movies
Big brother's first date.
Playing in the snow with sisters
Joined by friends
Playing jokes on the neighbors
and laughing forever

Suddenly it's gone
We're moving on
It feels like a whole world dying
but then it starts again
and every new beginning
has an end.

Loneliness My Friend

When I am alone
I can sing
and write
be naked
Look any sloppy way I want
Talk to myself or sit quietly inward.

When I'm with you
we are both fidgeting and
stuttering, sweating, and
wishing for a revelation
to give us something to say.

There are people everywhere
surrounding and watching
listening to catch a word
of our silent conversation
Loneliness can be much more fun.

Blossom

Blossom among blossoms
Millions of wild flowers,
Coloring the meadow
Yellow, White, Lavender
Soaking in the sunshine
Flaunting their fragile petals.

Dark clouds and wind
Warn of a spring storm
The fields blown and beaten
Hail burying the flowers.

Among millions of dead blossoms
The tip of a petal
breaks through the ice
One lonely surviving flower
Among millions destroyed
Wondering, "Why me?"  

Exposure

My body quivers
Closing my eyes in fear
Exposed and blistered
The naked truth
Stretched out
For everyone ro see,
What has become of me.

The Preditor

Looking for the right victim
Someone timid, vulnerable
With the softest whimper
He watches, follows
Stalks, then pounces
And bounces
Tears out her insides
And when he's through
His need to hurt and
Destroy satisfied
He  leaves the ragged, naked
Ended life.

Forever Things

Baby books to
Year books,
Blue ribbons and
Valentines, birthday cards
And a Mother's Day 
Bouquet
Posted on a card by me.

From town to town
State to state
Desert scalds and icebergs bite
Draughts, floods,
Tornados and quakes.
In the end 
It's all there
The pieces of a life we've saved
For someone to cherish
In a future day.

Be With Me

Between crisp clean sheets
Her head made a hole
in the pillow as she lay
Nearing the time
she would pass away.
I kissed her dried,
cracked lips
My mother tried to say
Remember me and
 be with me another day,
Another place.
Always together
in memories and
living forever.

Flash back

I can still feel the freshness
Of the fabric on your jacket.
While caressing each other
And holding tight,

I can still feel the humiliation,
When you left me.
With no respect
Treating me like
Some prickly animal
To be disposed of.

After all these years,
I'm still writing poems about you.

Flower Patch

As a child, I planted a popcorn seed,
in the middle of my mother's flower patch.
With sunshine and water,
the point of a leaf broke through the soil.
Thriving it grew, green, tall, and ugly,
Among the iris, the pansies, and the mums,
an embarrassment to the garden.
Mom said it had to go.
I plead for the life of my popcorn plant.
I had nurtured and watched it grow.
Spare my plant I begged.
It too has a soul.

Feelings

A philodendron
Sits perfectly still
By the window,
Soaking in the sun
taken care of
Unable to express gratitude
for the sunshine and
A taste of water.

Look Inside

While you're looking from the outside,
I look back at you from within,
totally oblivious of how I appear,
I know what I feel,
but don't pretend to understand
Expressing my feelings,
an urge
Needing someone to hear me
and to know
I am not an illness,
I am a person
A real person with feelings
A lovable, humble soul.

Get Over It

You've told us,

so forget about it

My story is hard to listen to.

Difficult to share,

Like being on fire

and people looking away 

to escape the sight

of my chard body.

The pain and agony

is mine to bare.

Yours to care.

Immersed

The frigid air is foggy,
Dirt sticking
on my body and soul
The world is
a dirty window,
I cannot see,
Needing to be washed,
Dunked and
totally immersed,
in pure clean water.
Bringing daylight,
Fresh, clear, and bright.

Free

Pushing, forcing,
radiating cold, and bitterness.
You need to harm and control.

I lie here bruised, and battered
Limp is my soul,
hanging out to dry

I feel the stabbing beam
from your evil eyes.
The smirk on your face
will be your demise

Imprisoned, restrained,
lock your demons inside
Unable to hurt again.
I am free

Present Traumatic Stress

Present traumatic stress, creates
Post traumatic stress,
Stabbing and stabbing,
Pushing the knife in
and pulling it out.
Blood erupting,
Squirting red,
Robbing me of my energy.
My post traumatic stress,
remnants from my survival.

Mental Illness Is

Dark, cold, yet burning
Freagments of thoughts
scattered.
Evil words and obsessions,
Everything confusing,
Dangerous, numb. alone.
The end of a life
Never born.