Having Babies

If I had a baby,
what would it look like?
Boy or girl,
light hair, dark hair
no hair.
Would it look like me?
What would I name it?

I have wondered these things
since I was eleven years old.
I couldn't understand how
the baby would grow in it's mother's belly.
I thought that heavenly father put it there.

I am in my sixties
I have a womb
that has always been empty.

I could feel bad
for never having the experience
of giving birth,
but when I look back on my life,
clouded by mental illness
I know that I couldn't raise a baby.
I would not be fair for the innocent child.

Searching For Peace

Who are You?
You in my head.
Where did you come from?
Who is in control?
Did you want to own me?
Would I let you?
Could I stop you?

My mind had
So many broken thoughts.
I couldn't stand it.
I wanted to die.

Nobody knew what was wrong with me.
Some people thought I was faking.

Yet, after all these years
Of torment and hard work.
I have survived.

The Grey

Late in the grey
of the winter.
He went away.
Back in nineteen hundred
And several years ago

He told me to find another
But we knew
And it's true that I wouldn't.

Now it's late in the grey
Of the winter
And my head is as grey
As the day
That passes away.

Kisses

When I was in elementary school, we wore dresses to school.  It could be embarrassing while climbing on the monkey bars.  I liked the swing.  I would see how high I could go and had visions of going over the top.

As I was swinging, I started wondering why adults liked to kiss each other.  I wanted to find out what it was like to kiss a boy.  I saw my little red headed friend, Wayne Manning across the playground.  I jumped out of the swing into the sand and yelled,  "I'm gunna kiss you Wayne Manning!"  I chased him all around the playground.  I knew I could catch him.  I tackled him and planted a kiss on his lips.  It felt kind of warm and wet. "What was so great about that?" I thought to myself. "I don't understand adults, especially movie stars with their Hollywood kisses."

Life on Earth

It starts when two cells
get together and multiply
growing into a mass,
that turns into an embryo
that turns into a baby.
As we grow
we become children
Living in a world
covered with millions of living things.
Seeing some for the first time.
Our minds learn and grow
we are in the middle
between children and young adults
As we grow up
Each of us has our unique experiences
that shape our whole person.
When we pass from this existance
into the next,
If one of my angel friends
askes me, "What did you think
of your life on Earth."
I will answer
"Interesting, but too short."

Jealousy

Her jealosy was a blaze
as big as the orange sun.
It reached out to scorch the faces
of her close ones.
They wept and left.

She was alone
burning in her rage.

Interesting Family

How did a married couple
grow such a variety of children?
From a mother of ten
to a single, never married women,
A doctor of philosophy
to a motorcycle drag race champion.
Musicians, writers and at least one artist.
Each with their own passions and temperments
Some of what we have in common is intelligence,
Humor, and a desire to be helpful.
The important thing is
that we love and adore each other.