Number one

Studying my brother, Bill

I read some of his poetry

that reveals his soul.

The words flow

Creating crisp images,

Raw feelings.

Whether it be his talents,

his IQ or

Simply his loving, sweet spirit,

My brother will always be number one.

I love him to much

to be jealous.

Starving

I've waited so long
for you to come and
fill my hunger.

I am weak and needy
Anticipating comfort
Relief from my nervous sweat

But then you give me tid-bits
and leave me
Alone again still
Starving.

Passing

When I'm with you
It seems that now will be forever.
Yet, as time passes
people move beside us
and away from us.
Going from one life to another.
In different places on this earth.
We make our final passing from this world
one at a time
And we weep with every passing.

Insomnia

Can't slow down

Can't lie still

Headed for the door

I walk into the wall.

The wall talks to me

The ceiling falls onto my head.

I don't want to think this stuff

Please stop laughing at me.

I pray to slow down my brain

and let me rest.

I need to rest.

Bursting

Energy in my mind

Pulsating, throbbing,

Pounding on me.

I am a piñata.

I burst when pounded on

And everything inside of me

Is scattered.


All the king's horses

And all the king's men

Cannot put Kathy together again.

Judy's World

I can't stand it.
It's too horrible.
I can't handle fear, rejection and pain
I have to be smart, pretty and successful.
Otherwise I can't even exist.

I'm not really who you think I am.
I have a secret sister.
She's a movie star.
One of these days she's coming to get me
To take me back home to California
to live in our mansion
in luxury and sunshine
for the rest of my life.

About Budget Cuts

I have lived with mental illness for most of my life.  As I have struggled, I am lucky to have lived as long as I have.

The public has been concerned about recent acts of violence, even the killing little children.  The assailants were not in the mental health system, but they probably should have been.

Mental Illness is not going away, but it is treatable.  The treatment needs to be available for the people who dream up these horrible tragedies before they happen.  It is hard for young people to admit they have a problem.  It is even harder for them to ask for help.  Turning them away doesn't help anything.

There used to be a place in Midvale called ITU.  It was a residential and crisis center.  A lot of people went there usually because they were severely troubled.  One evening when I was hanging around ITU, I noticed a young girl.  She was about twenty years old, with long brown hair, very pretty.  She was trying to tell everyone that she wanted to die.  The crisis worker thought that she wanted constant attention and believed that ignoring her would be therapeutic.  I looked out the window and noticed that she was walking away.  I told a crisis worker, he said, "Let her go."  The next morning we found out that she had gone to a friends home, borrowed a gun and killed herself.

When we make cuts to mental health and close programs, we are saying, "Let them go."

This is not a good time to cut funding for mental health.  Are we more concerned about money than we are  people?