Stigma

I wonder which stigma
I should fight today
Will it be religion,
old age
or my medical condition.
I am a Mormon
Senior Citizen
with a mental illness.
stereotyped and persecuted.
The bible teaches us
to love one another.
You who are without sin,
Wanna trade places.

Being Mentally Ill

Whisper when you talk about it.
Be picky with whom you share.
People think of us as odd,
dangerous and frightening.
blaming us for 
all shocking behaviors and
acts of violence.

I want to scream at the world,
"I am not ashamed! I am innocent!"

The Present

We are told to live in the present.
what if the present is
agony, depression and self loathing.

We can learn from the past and
we can shape, color and build our future.

We are in control.

Depression Is

When your black world
squeezes your energy
Like a tube of tooth paste
left empty and flat.
Too weak for 
Anything to matter.
You could die
hungering for affection
And yet it's too hard 
to hunt for it.
Lying alone, 
Caring about nothing
Praying for a heart attack.

Beulah

A long time ago
an entity, Beulah
shared my room
much like a ghost
a demon
filling my whole room.
smothering me,
choking me.
trying to destroy me.
laughing 
at my suffering,
she called me a friend.
A friend?

Surgery

They cut open my body
to do all the corrections.
It seems like it only takes seconds.
Waking up 
I find myself an invalid
that hurts
for a long time
trying to walk.

Eventually most of the pain is gone
still feeling tender,
weak and dizzy
I  feel like I'm tipping over
Sometimes I collapse
I could break my bones
but not my spirit.

Yvonne

Always there
Always helping
If she doesn't know
The answer she finds it.

When I am lost in the river
Yvonne patiently waits
Gently she offers her hand
To help me get hold of the rod.
She never pressures me.
She just offers her hand.