I Miss You Mom

I miss my mom.
I miss her holding me
When I was a baby.
I miss her singing to me.
I miss her nervous laugh when
She was embarrassed.
As I grew, she taught me to
Act like a lady.
She was outspoken and cared
about everything and everybody.
I made her worry way too much.
I remember coming home
at three in the morning.
She would be wrapped up in a
blanket waiting for me.
I'm sorry Mom.
I love you.

Goodbye

Stand tall
In my doorway
Wrap your comfort over mine
Let me sink into your chest.
Last goodbye.

Your Smile

Your smile inside my house again.
Can we believe that we have apart?
In that space of time remembered.
An evenings journey into sleep.

The Passed

Live in the present
I've been told.
If you spend time
in the past,
you rob yourself of today

I am a senior citizen
I spend most of my time
with other senior citizens.
We are a friendly, pleasant group
Though sometimes we get cranky
and we get in little spats
That's OK
I love to connect with their pleading eyes,
hoping for a smile and a wave.
I love to visit with them,
Listen to their stories
that filled their past.

Sometimes their precious spirits
slip away
and they are just gone
forever
Their space is vacant

The past that I am building now
holds these lovely people
It's worth remembering.

Saving Sneakers

We got Sneakers when he was three months old. He was a cute little black and white kitten. We originally named him Snickers, but because of his white paws, we decided to call him Sneakers

When we first got him he was terrified. He wouldn't go by anyone. I tried to warm up to him with tuna fish, but he wouldn't be coaxed. One morning I woke up and sneakers was at the bottom of my bed. When he noticed I was awake he meowed at me. He became affectionate after that.

When he was about six months old he started wanting to go outside. We figured he was probably looking for a girlfriend. We got him fixed. He was very upset and cried all day.

He still liked to go outside sometimes. One day when he was out, I went looking for him. I heard him crying in the parking lot and found him underneath a car. I pulled him out he was covered with grease. He needed a bath, but he didn't want one. We did it somehow. Judy held him in the bathtub and I washed him with shampoo. Judy and I have battle scars.

One night Sneakers had been outside for a long time. It was getting late and we were getting worried. When I opened the door I could hear him crying. Sneakers has a cry that is his alone. I couldn't see him anywhere. Judy pointed at the roof. There he was crying because he couldn't get down.

A teen aged boy said he could climb up there and get Sneakers. He got up there, but couldn't catch Sneakers. It was late and we thought Sneakers might find his way down.

The next day he was still up there. We called the fire department. They said it was too dangerous to send their men up there after a cat.

I walked around the building to see how Sneakers got up there. There was a big tree that was close enough to the roof that a cat could jump to the roof. The limbs of the tree were to small for a cat on the roof to jump on them.

We called animal services they were no help, saying they had no equipment to catch him.

It had been three days and four nights. Sneakers was still up there. It was the middle of June. Poor Sneakers must have been burning hot.

I couldn't stand to hear him cry. I tried to climb on the hand rail, but couldn't. One of our neighbors came over saying that we should put some water and food up there. I thought it was a good idea, so I filled his dishes. The neighbor climbed on the handrail and set the food and water on the roof. I got a chair, a wooden box and two cushions off the couch, stacked them on each other, then climbed on them. As Sneakers started drinking the water, I told my neighbor to grab him. He grabbed him and handed him to me. I let him jump out of my hands on to the stairs. He ran straight into the apartment and ran under the bed. All the neighbors were cheering. In just a couple of minutes he came to me, rubbing his head on my leg, as if to say THANK YOU.

Being Shy

What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue?
Everyone said that to me when I was four years old.
I had visions of a cat's head in my mouth
Biting my tongue.
A horrible thought.
As I held on to my daddy's leg,
everyone was laughing.
I didn't need people pointing out my shyness.
Being painfully bashfull,
I spent most of my life
Alone and lonely.

Fishing

Springtime in Redding was fun.
We lived in a pink house,
At the bottom of some yellow hills.
A creek rolled past us.
I was about 9 years old.
I liked to run through the field
With it's crackley weeds.
I chased butterflies
And collected spiders.
I used to tear heads
Off of grasshoppers.
The wild flowers
colored the field.
I loved to pick them
And give them to my mom.

The creek fascinated me.
I sat on a rock with my feet
Dangling and splashing
As I wiggled my toes.
I was watching tadpoles.
Some of them were growing legs.
They were turning into frogs.

I saw a fish in the middle of the creek bed.
I balanced myself while I stood up slowly,
Hanging on to the round slippery rocks
With my toes.
I stood above the fish
With my legs spread apart.
I didn't really think that
I could catch that fish.
But I would try.
I bent over trying to keep my balance.
I reached down and grabbed it.
It slipped through my fingers.
I kept grabbing and splashing
And amazingly keeping my balance.
I finally was able to hang on to him.
I took him home for my mom to cook.
She said,"That's just an old carp.
Garbage fish."
I thought to myself,
"I risked my life on those slippery rocks
to catch a garbage fish!"